diff --git a/apps/web/src/oj/achievement/index.vue b/apps/web/src/oj/achievement/index.vue
index 0ab2bf2..448b2bc 100644
--- a/apps/web/src/oj/achievement/index.vue
+++ b/apps/web/src/oj/achievement/index.vue
@@ -6,6 +6,7 @@ import { useBreakpoints } from 'shared/composables/breakpoints'
 import UserName from 'shared/components/UserName.vue'
 import AdminLink from 'shared/components/AdminLink.vue'
 import { useUserStore } from 'shared/store/user'
+import { useMascotGuide } from 'shared/mascot/guide'
 import { RARITY_COLOR, RARITY_LABEL } from 'utils/constants'
 import type { AchievementList, AchievementRarity, UserBadge } from 'utils/types'
 import ClassCard from './components/ClassCard.vue'
@@ -59,6 +60,9 @@ async function load() {
 
 onMounted(load)
 watch(name, load)
+
+// 看板娘：只在看自己的成就时说话
+useMascotGuide(() => (data.value && !other.value && !userStore.isTeacherOrAbove ? { situation: 'achievement' } : null))
 </script>
 
 <template>
diff --git a/apps/web/src/oj/announcement/list.vue b/apps/web/src/oj/announcement/list.vue
index 4f0383e..9423d0d 100644
--- a/apps/web/src/oj/announcement/list.vue
+++ b/apps/web/src/oj/announcement/list.vue
@@ -5,6 +5,7 @@ import AdminLink from 'shared/components/AdminLink.vue'
 import NotFound from 'shared/components/NotFound.vue'
 import { useBreakpoints } from 'shared/composables/breakpoints'
 import { useUserStore } from 'shared/store/user'
+import { useMascotGuide } from 'shared/mascot/guide'
 import { errorCode } from 'utils/api'
 import { parseTime, zonedParts, zonedYear } from 'utils/functions'
 import type { Announcement, AnnouncementListItem } from 'utils/types'
@@ -27,6 +28,9 @@ const { isDesktop } = useBreakpoints()
 const announcements = ref<AnnouncementListItem[]>([])
 const loaded = ref(false)
 
+// 看板娘：只念叨一句，不给按钮
+useMascotGuide(() => ({ situation: 'announcement' }))
+
 onMounted(async () => {
   const res = await getAnnouncementList(0, LIMIT)
   announcements.value = res.results
diff --git a/apps/web/src/oj/contest/list.vue b/apps/web/src/oj/contest/list.vue
index 12f9fbd..706bedc 100644
--- a/apps/web/src/oj/contest/list.vue
+++ b/apps/web/src/oj/contest/list.vue
@@ -12,6 +12,7 @@ import { usePagination } from 'shared/composables/pagination'
 import AdminLink from 'shared/components/AdminLink.vue'
 import { useBreakpoints } from 'shared/composables/breakpoints'
 import { useUserStore } from 'shared/store/user'
+import { goAction, useMascotGuide } from 'shared/mascot/guide'
 import { ContestStatus } from 'utils/constants'
 import ContestBadge from './components/ContestBadge.vue'
 
@@ -115,6 +116,14 @@ function open(contest: Contest) {
   router.push(userStore.isTeacherOrAbove ? `/contest/${contest.id}/class` : `/contest/${contest.id}`)
 }
 
+// 看板娘：有正在比的就带进去
+useMascotGuide(() => {
+  if (userStore.isTeacherOrAbove) return null
+  const live = active.value.find((c) => c.status === ContestStatus.underway)
+  if (!live) return { situation: 'contests.none' }
+  return { situation: 'contests.live', actions: [goAction(router, '进比赛', `/contest/${live.id}`)] }
+})
+
 function mineText(contest: Contest) {
   const mine = contest.mine
   if (!mine) return ''
diff --git a/apps/web/src/oj/home/student.vue b/apps/web/src/oj/home/student.vue
index 3c4bfc3..9559610 100644
--- a/apps/web/src/oj/home/student.vue
+++ b/apps/web/src/oj/home/student.vue
@@ -8,6 +8,7 @@ import SubmissionResultTag from 'shared/components/SubmissionResultTag.vue'
 import { pickHeadline, type Headline } from 'oj/user/knowledge'
 import { useUserStore } from 'shared/store/user'
 import { activityMode } from 'shared/store/lesson'
+import { focusJumpAction, goAction, randomProblemAction, useMascotGuide } from 'shared/mascot/guide'
 import { ContestStatus, CONTEST_STATUS, JUDGE_STATUS, LANGUAGE_SHOW_VALUE } from 'utils/constants'
 import { duration, parseTime, zonedParts, zonedYear } from 'utils/functions'
 import type { AnnouncementListItem, ClassActivity, ClassActivityProblem, Contest, LastVisit, SubmissionListItem, WeeklyRank } from 'utils/types'
@@ -244,6 +245,17 @@ watch(
   { immediate: true },
 )
 
+// 看板娘：今天有课（和「这节课」那张卡同一个条件）就催今天的题，没课就随便做一道
+useMascotGuide(() => {
+  if (!loaded.value) return null
+  const random = randomProblemAction(router)
+  const learn = goAction(router, '自学', '/learn')
+  if (!classToday.value || !classActivity.value?.problems.length) return { situation: 'home.free', actions: [focusJumpAction(), random, learn] }
+  const next = nextProblem.value
+  if (!next) return { situation: 'home.done', actions: [random, learn] }
+  return { situation: 'home.assigned', actions: [goAction(router, '今天的题', `/problem/${next.problemDisplayId}`), focusJumpAction(), random] }
+})
+
 function learnLink(track: Track) {
   return tutorialPath(track.type, track.step)
 }
diff --git a/apps/web/src/oj/home/teacher.vue b/apps/web/src/oj/home/teacher.vue
index 0234d9c..e8b2a29 100644
--- a/apps/web/src/oj/home/teacher.vue
+++ b/apps/web/src/oj/home/teacher.vue
@@ -6,6 +6,7 @@ import { useThemeVars } from 'naive-ui'
 import { getAnnouncementList, getClassToday } from 'oj/api'
 import { classLabel } from 'utils/classes'
 import { useUserStore } from 'shared/store/user'
+import { goAction, useMascotGuide } from 'shared/mascot/guide'
 import { parseTime, zonedParts, zonedYear } from 'utils/functions'
 
 /**
@@ -66,6 +67,25 @@ function openTask(row: ClassRow) {
   router.push({ name: 'task', query: { className: row.className } })
 }
 
+/**
+ * 看板娘：今天有班布置了题，就带去那个班这节课的提交（和提交列表「这节课」同一组筛选：班、这几道题、今天），
+ * 有好几个班时挑正在上课的那个
+ */
+useMascotGuide(() => {
+  if (!today.value) return null
+  const assigned = today.value.classes.filter((row) => row.source === 'teacher' && row.problems.length)
+  const row = assigned.find((it) => stateOf(it).live) ?? assigned[0]
+  if (!row) return { situation: 'teacher.home.unassigned', actions: [goAction(router, '布置题目', '/task')] }
+  const query = { className: row.className, problem: row.problems.map((problem) => problem.problemDisplayId).join(','), today: '1' }
+  return {
+    situation: 'teacher.home.assigned',
+    actions: [
+      { label: '这节课的提交', run: () => router.push({ name: 'submissions', query }) },
+      { label: '课堂任务', run: () => openTask(row) },
+    ],
+  }
+})
+
 const shortcuts = computed(() =>
   [
     { label: '课堂任务', to: '/task', show: true },
diff --git a/apps/web/src/oj/learn/index.vue b/apps/web/src/oj/learn/index.vue
index be9d517..30addea 100644
--- a/apps/web/src/oj/learn/index.vue
+++ b/apps/web/src/oj/learn/index.vue
@@ -6,6 +6,7 @@ import { useBreakpoints } from 'shared/composables/breakpoints'
 import { useAuthModalStore } from 'shared/store/authModal'
 import AdminLink from 'shared/components/AdminLink.vue'
 import { useUserStore } from 'shared/store/user'
+import { goAction, useMascotGuide } from 'shared/mascot/guide'
 import { COURSES, continueStep, doneCount, groupByProject, tutorialPath, tutorialState, splitProject, splitTitle, type TutorialType } from './utils'
 import TutorialRow from './components/TutorialRow.vue'
 import ProjectTile from './components/ProjectTile.vue'
@@ -94,6 +95,14 @@ function doneIn(course: Course, ids: number[]) {
   return ids.filter((id) => tutorialState(course.progress[id]) === 'done').length
 }
 
+// 看板娘：学过就带去「接着学」那一课，一课没学过就从当前页签那门课的第 1 课开始
+useMascotGuide(() => {
+  if (!loaded.value || userStore.isTeacherOrAbove) return null
+  const it = resume.value
+  if (it) return { situation: 'learn.continue', n: it.step, actions: [goAction(router, '接着学', tutorialPath(it.course.type, it.step))] }
+  return { situation: 'learn.fresh', actions: [goAction(router, '第 1 课', tutorialPath(tab.value, 1))] }
+})
+
 watch(() => userStore.isAuthed, load)
 onMounted(load)
 </script>
diff --git a/apps/web/src/oj/learn/tutorial.vue b/apps/web/src/oj/learn/tutorial.vue
index 562ae78..4a6a290 100644
--- a/apps/web/src/oj/learn/tutorial.vue
+++ b/apps/web/src/oj/learn/tutorial.vue
@@ -10,6 +10,7 @@ import { useBackClose } from 'shared/composables/backClose'
 import { useBreakpoints } from 'shared/composables/breakpoints'
 import AdminLink from 'shared/components/AdminLink.vue'
 import { useUserStore } from 'shared/store/user'
+import { useMascotGuide, type MascotAction } from 'shared/mascot/guide'
 import { COURSES, doneCount, groupByProject, tutorialPath, tutorialState, splitTitle, type TutorialType } from './utils'
 import TutorialBody from './components/TutorialBody.vue'
 import TutorialEnd from './components/TutorialEnd.vue'
@@ -233,6 +234,16 @@ function jump(id: string) {
 function jumpExercise(id: number) {
   jump(`exercise-${id}`)
 }
+
+// 看板娘：练一练没做完就带去第一道没做对的；做完了（或这课没有练一练）就去下一课
+useMascotGuide(() => {
+  if (!tutorial.value || userStore.isTeacherOrAbove) return null
+  const to = next.value?.to
+  const nextLesson: MascotAction[] = to ? [{ label: '下一课', run: () => router.push(to) }] : []
+  const unsolved = firstUnsolved.value
+  if (!unsolved) return { situation: 'tutorial.passed', actions: nextLesson }
+  return { situation: 'tutorial', actions: [{ label: '练一练', run: () => jumpExercise(unsolved.id) }, ...nextLesson] }
+})
 </script>
 
 <template>
diff --git a/apps/web/src/oj/pk/index.vue b/apps/web/src/oj/pk/index.vue
index 616df0c..86f66f7 100644
--- a/apps/web/src/oj/pk/index.vue
+++ b/apps/web/src/oj/pk/index.vue
@@ -6,6 +6,7 @@ import { classLabel, groupClassOptions } from 'utils/classes'
 import { useAIStream } from 'shared/composables/aiStream'
 import { useBreakpoints } from 'shared/composables/breakpoints'
 import { useUserStore } from 'shared/store/user'
+import { useMascotGuide } from 'shared/mascot/guide'
 import PkDuel from './components/PkDuel.vue'
 import PkGrid from './components/PkGrid.vue'
 import PkRace from './components/PkRace.vue'
@@ -31,6 +32,10 @@ const { isDesktop } = useBreakpoints()
 const MAX_CLASSES = 8
 
 const teacher = computed(() => userStore.isTeacherOrAbove)
+
+// 看板娘：学生念叨一句班级对决，老师只打招呼
+useMascotGuide(() => (teacher.value ? null : { situation: 'pk' }))
+
 const pk = ref<ClassPk | null>(null)
 const loading = ref(false)
 const battle = ref<ClassBattleItem[]>([])
diff --git a/apps/web/src/oj/problem/composables/mascotGuide.ts b/apps/web/src/oj/problem/composables/mascotGuide.ts
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..dcd197b
--- /dev/null
+++ b/apps/web/src/oj/problem/composables/mascotGuide.ts
@@ -0,0 +1,117 @@
+import { useBreakpoints } from 'shared/composables/breakpoints'
+import { useMascotGuide, type MascotAction, type MascotGuide } from 'shared/mascot/guide'
+import type { MascotSituation } from 'shared/mascot/lines'
+import { useCollabStore } from 'shared/store/collab'
+import { useLessonStore } from 'shared/store/lesson'
+import { useUserStore } from 'shared/store/user'
+import { useCodeStore } from 'oj/store/code'
+import { useProblemStore } from 'oj/store/problem'
+import { useSubmissionStore, type ResultSegment } from 'oj/store/submission'
+import { SubmissionStatus } from 'utils/constants'
+import { useProblemPageContext } from './problemPageContext'
+import { useTeacherCollab } from './teacherCollab'
+
+/** 同一道题错到这么多次，她就不怼了，劝去举手 */
+const STUCK_FAILS = 5
+/** 错过这么多次以后做对，算「终于」 */
+const FINALLY_FAILS = 2
+
+const RESULT_SITUATION: Partial<Record<SubmissionStatus, MascotSituation>> = {
+  [SubmissionStatus.wrong_answer]: 'problem.wrong',
+  [SubmissionStatus.partial_accepted]: 'problem.wrong',
+  [SubmissionStatus.ast_check_failed]: 'problem.wrong',
+  [SubmissionStatus.compile_error]: 'problem.compileError',
+  [SubmissionStatus.runtime_error]: 'problem.runtimeError',
+  [SubmissionStatus.memory_limit_exceeded]: 'problem.runtimeError',
+  [SubmissionStatus.cpu_time_limit_exceeded]: 'problem.timeout',
+  [SubmissionStatus.real_time_limit_exceeded]: 'problem.timeout',
+}
+
+/**
+ * 题目页上看板娘说什么、给哪几个按钮。看的是这一页上最近的那件事：刚交的结果、刚跑的例子，
+ * 都没有就看写没写代码。比赛入口不用管（Mascot.vue 在比赛里不弹）。
+ *
+ * `showResult` 是「我错在哪」：把左栏切到「结果」页签的那一段（提交结果 / 运行例子），页签归页面管。
+ */
+export function useProblemMascotGuide(showResult: (segment: ResultSegment) => void) {
+  const router = useRouter()
+  const userStore = useUserStore()
+  const problemStore = useProblemStore()
+  const submissionStore = useSubmissionStore()
+  const codeStore = useCodeStore()
+  const collabStore = useCollabStore()
+  const lessonStore = useLessonStore()
+  const ctx = useProblemPageContext()
+  const teacherCollab = useTeacherCollab()
+  const { isDesktop } = useBreakpoints()
+
+  useMascotGuide(() => {
+    const problem = problemStore.problem
+    if (!problem) return null
+
+    if (userStore.isTeacherOrAbove) {
+      // 协作中别把老师带离这一页：跳走协作就断了
+      if (teacherCollab.value) return null
+      const actions: MascotAction[] = [{ label: '全班这题的提交', run: () => router.push({ name: 'submissions', query: { problem: problem._id } }) }]
+      if (isDesktop.value && userStore.canEditProblem(problem)) {
+        actions.push({ label: '编辑这道题', run: () => window.open(router.resolve(`/admin/problem/edit/${problem.id}`).href, '_blank') })
+      }
+      return { situation: 'teacher.problem', actions }
+    }
+
+    const language = codeStore.code.language
+    const entry = ctx.value
+
+    const runSamples: MascotAction | null =
+      problem.samples.length && language !== 'Flowchart' && language !== 'SQL' ? { label: '运行例子', run: submissionStore.runSamples } : null
+    // 和工具栏的「举手求助」同一个条件；已经举着手、老师在帮的时候不给
+    const help: MascotAction | null =
+      entry.help && isDesktop.value && !userStore.demoMode && language !== 'Flowchart' && collabStore.helpStatus === 'idle'
+        ? { label: '举手求助', run: () => collabStore.requestHelp(problem._id, language) }
+        : null
+    const why: MascotAction = { label: '我错在哪', run: () => showResult('submit') }
+    const busy = submissionStore.isFormatting || submissionStore.isSubmittingRequest || submissionStore.judging || submissionStore.isCooldown
+    const submit: MascotAction | null = busy
+      ? null
+      : { label: '提交', run: () => submissionStore.submit({ contestId: entry.contestId, problemSetId: entry.problemSetId }) }
+
+    const guide = (situation: MascotSituation, ...actions: (MascotAction | null)[]): MascotGuide => ({
+      situation,
+      actions: actions.filter((it): it is MascotAction => !!it),
+    })
+
+    if (language === 'Flowchart') return guide('problem.flowchart', help)
+    // 正在判、正在跑例子：没什么好说的，打个招呼
+    if (submissionStore.judging || submissionStore.pending || submissionStore.trial.samplesRunning.value) return null
+
+    const stuck = problemStore.failCount >= STUCK_FAILS
+    if (submissionStore.syntaxErrorInfo) return stuck ? guide('problem.stuck', help, why) : guide('problem.compileError', why, help)
+
+    const runs = submissionStore.trial.sampleRuns.value
+    if (submissionStore.resultSegment === 'samples' && runs.length) {
+      return runs.every((run) => run.result === SubmissionStatus.accepted)
+        ? guide('problem.samplesPassed', submit)
+        : guide('problem.samplesFailed', { label: '我错在哪', run: () => showResult('samples') }, help)
+    }
+
+    const result = submissionStore.submission?.result
+    if (result === SubmissionStatus.accepted) {
+      const next = nextAction()
+      const fails = problemStore.failCount
+      return guide(fails === 0 ? 'problem.firstTry' : fails >= FINALLY_FAILS ? 'problem.finally' : 'problem.accepted', next)
+    }
+    const failed = result === undefined ? undefined : RESULT_SITUATION[result as SubmissionStatus]
+    if (failed) return stuck ? guide('problem.stuck', help, why) : guide(failed, why, failed === 'problem.wrong' ? runSamples : null, help)
+
+    if (problem.myStatus === SubmissionStatus.accepted) return guide('problem.solvedBefore', nextAction())
+    if (codeStore.code.value.trim().length < 10) return guide(entry.entry === 'problemset' ? 'problem.inSet' : 'problem.blank', runSamples, help)
+    return guide('problem.unsubmitted', runSamples, help)
+
+    /** 做对之后去哪：专题里回专题，这节课里去下一道还没做的 */
+    function nextAction(): MascotAction | null {
+      if (entry.entry === 'problemset') return { label: '回专题', run: () => router.push(`/problemset/${entry.problemSetId}`) }
+      const next = lessonStore.nextAfter(problem!._id)?.next
+      return next ? { label: '下一道', run: () => router.push(`/problem/${next.problemDisplayId}`) } : null
+    }
+  })
+}
diff --git a/apps/web/src/oj/problem/detail.vue b/apps/web/src/oj/problem/detail.vue
index 9110ba7..7ee7cd3 100644
--- a/apps/web/src/oj/problem/detail.vue
+++ b/apps/web/src/oj/problem/detail.vue
@@ -19,6 +19,7 @@ import ContextBar from './components/ContextBar.vue'
 import { useEditorMenu } from './composables/editorMenu'
 import { DRAWER_TITLE, useProblemPageContext, type ProblemDrawer as DrawerKey } from './composables/problemPageContext'
 import { useCollabHere, useTeacherCollab } from './composables/teacherCollab'
+import { useProblemMascotGuide } from './composables/mascotGuide'
 
 // 抽成具名 loader，便于进页面时与接口并行预取编辑器 chunk。
 // 题库、比赛、专题三种入口用的是同一个编辑器：原来比赛和专题用的是另一个精简版，
@@ -208,6 +209,13 @@ watch(
   },
 )
 
+// 看板娘气泡里的「我错在哪」：切到「结果」页签里出错的那一段
+useProblemMascotGuide((segment) => {
+  drawer.value = null
+  currentTab.value = 'result'
+  submissionStore.resultSegment = segment
+})
+
 // 结果页签的标题带状态图标（ResultTabLabel），n-tab-pane 的 tab 接受渲染函数
 const resultTab = () => h(ResultTabLabel, { active: currentTab.value === 'result' })
 
diff --git a/apps/web/src/oj/problem/list.vue b/apps/web/src/oj/problem/list.vue
index 629fc01..d3ae472 100644
--- a/apps/web/src/oj/problem/list.vue
+++ b/apps/web/src/oj/problem/list.vue
@@ -18,6 +18,7 @@ import { usePagination } from 'shared/composables/pagination'
 import { useAuthModalStore } from 'shared/store/authModal'
 import AdminLink from 'shared/components/AdminLink.vue'
 import { useUserStore } from 'shared/store/user'
+import { focusJumpAction, useMascotGuide, type MascotAction } from 'shared/mascot/guide'
 import ProblemStatus from './components/ProblemStatus.vue'
 import ProblemTypeTag from './components/ProblemTypeTag.vue'
 import ProgressRow from './components/ProgressRow.vue'
@@ -272,6 +273,18 @@ async function pickRandom() {
   }
 }
 
+// 看板娘：学生给找题的几条路（「随便来一道」按这页选着的知识点和类型挑），老师给新建题目
+useMascotGuide(() => {
+  if (teacher.value) {
+    return {
+      situation: 'teacher.problems',
+      actions: userStore.hasProblemPermission ? [{ label: '新建题目', run: () => router.push('/admin/problem/create') }] : [],
+    }
+  }
+  const undone: MascotAction | null = userStore.isAuthed && !undoneOn.value ? { label: '只看没做完', run: () => (undoneOn.value = true) } : null
+  return { situation: 'problems', actions: [focusJumpAction(), ...(undone ? [undone] : []), { label: '随便来一道', run: pickRandom }] }
+})
+
 // ---- 「只看没做完」下一道都没有了：说清楚为什么是空的，给两条路 ----
 const nextTag = computed(() => {
   const p = mine.value
diff --git a/apps/web/src/oj/problemset/detail.vue b/apps/web/src/oj/problemset/detail.vue
index 52cc6d1..d480884 100644
--- a/apps/web/src/oj/problemset/detail.vue
+++ b/apps/web/src/oj/problemset/detail.vue
@@ -8,6 +8,7 @@ import { parseTime } from 'utils/functions'
 import type { ProblemSet, ProblemSetProblem } from 'utils/types'
 import { useAuthModalStore } from 'shared/store/authModal'
 import { useUserStore } from 'shared/store/user'
+import { goAction, useMascotGuide } from 'shared/mascot/guide'
 import { useFireworks } from '../problem/composables/useFireworks'
 import NotFound from 'shared/components/NotFound.vue'
 import BadgeLadder from './components/BadgeLadder.vue'
@@ -122,6 +123,17 @@ async function join() {
   }
 }
 
+// 看板娘：老师看全班，学生还差几道必做题、带去下一道；没加入就只打招呼
+useMascotGuide(() => {
+  if (!set.value) return null
+  if (userStore.isTeacherOrAbove) return { situation: 'teacher.problemset', actions: [{ label: '全班情况', run: () => (tab.value = 'class') }] }
+  if (!joined.value) return null
+  const todo = problems.value.filter((item) => item.isRequired && !item.isCompleted)
+  const next = todo[0]
+  if (progress.value?.isCompleted || !next) return { situation: 'problemset.done', actions: [goAction(router, '专题列表', '/problemset')] }
+  return { situation: 'problemset.unfinished', n: todo.length, actions: [{ label: '去做下一道', run: () => router.push(problemLink(next)) }] }
+})
+
 /** 编辑只给出题人和超管（后台按归属校验，别人点进去是 404） */
 const canEdit = computed(() => !!set.value && (userStore.isSuperAdmin || set.value.createdBy.id === userStore.user?.id))
 
diff --git a/apps/web/src/oj/problemset/list.vue b/apps/web/src/oj/problemset/list.vue
index d2b5da6..7eac6e4 100644
--- a/apps/web/src/oj/problemset/list.vue
+++ b/apps/web/src/oj/problemset/list.vue
@@ -3,6 +3,7 @@ import { useThemeVars } from 'naive-ui'
 import AdminLink from 'shared/components/AdminLink.vue'
 import { useBreakpoints } from 'shared/composables/breakpoints'
 import { useUserStore } from 'shared/store/user'
+import { goAction, useMascotGuide } from 'shared/mascot/guide'
 import { getProblemSetList } from 'oj/api'
 import { rgba, useTone } from 'shared/composables/tone'
 import { parseTime } from 'utils/functions'
@@ -55,6 +56,16 @@ const others = computed(() =>
     }),
 )
 
+// 看板娘：加入了还没做完的专题，布置中的优先，其次最近加入的
+useMascotGuide(() => {
+  if (userStore.isTeacherOrAbove) return null
+  const pending = sets.value.filter((set) => set.userProgress.isJoined && !set.userProgress.isCompleted)
+  const latest = (set: ProblemSet) => Date.parse(set.userProgress.joinTime ?? '') || 0
+  const target = pending.find((set) => set.assigning) ?? [...pending].sort((a, b) => latest(b) - latest(a))[0]
+  if (!target) return null
+  return { situation: 'problemsets.unfinished', actions: [goAction(router, '接着做', `/problemset/${target.id}`)] }
+})
+
 function description(set: ProblemSet) {
   // 简介大多就是把标题再抄一遍，一样的就不重复显示
   return set.description && set.description !== set.title ? set.description : ''
diff --git a/apps/web/src/oj/rank/list.vue b/apps/web/src/oj/rank/list.vue
index 7aadd6d..84c00fc 100644
--- a/apps/web/src/oj/rank/list.vue
+++ b/apps/web/src/oj/rank/list.vue
@@ -7,6 +7,7 @@ import UserName from 'shared/components/UserName.vue'
 import { useBreakpoints } from 'shared/composables/breakpoints'
 import { useConfigStore } from 'shared/store/config'
 import { useUserStore } from 'shared/store/user'
+import { useMascotGuide } from 'shared/mascot/guide'
 import { errorCode } from 'utils/api'
 import { displayName } from '@oj2/contract'
 import { STORAGE_KEY } from 'utils/constants'
@@ -271,6 +272,17 @@ function openDetail(className: string) {
   showDetail.value = true
 }
 
+// 看板娘：自己在榜上就把自己那一行滚到眼前（领奖台上是「你」那个标签，赛道上是高亮的那一行）
+useMascotGuide(() => {
+  if (teacher.value || !board.value) return null
+  const listed = rows.value.some((row) => row.user.id === meId.value)
+  const findMe = () => {
+    const el = document.querySelector('.track-card .entry.me, .track-card .prow.me, .track-card .tag.me')
+    el?.scrollIntoView({ behavior: 'smooth', block: 'center' })
+  }
+  return { situation: 'rank', actions: listed ? [{ label: '我在哪', run: findMe }] : [] }
+})
+
 function open(username: string) {
   router.push({ path: '/user', query: { name: username } })
 }
diff --git a/apps/web/src/oj/statistics/index.vue b/apps/web/src/oj/statistics/index.vue
index 3b68719..394fb70 100644
--- a/apps/web/src/oj/statistics/index.vue
+++ b/apps/web/src/oj/statistics/index.vue
@@ -1,5 +1,6 @@
 <script setup lang="ts">
 import { useRouteQuery } from '@vueuse/router'
+import { useMascotGuide } from 'shared/mascot/guide'
 import StatisticsView from './components/StatisticsView.vue'
 import { DEFAULT_PERIOD } from './period'
 
@@ -19,6 +20,8 @@ const period = useRouteQuery<string>('period', DEFAULT_PERIOD, { mode: 'replace'
 const from = useRouteQuery<string>('from', '', { mode: 'replace' })
 const to = useRouteQuery<string>('to', '', { mode: 'replace' })
 
+useMascotGuide(() => ({ situation: 'teacher.statistics' }))
+
 function openList(query: Record<string, string>) {
   window.open(router.resolve({ name: 'submissions', query }).href, '_blank')
 }
diff --git a/apps/web/src/oj/submission/detail.vue b/apps/web/src/oj/submission/detail.vue
index 066064c..8784dc1 100644
--- a/apps/web/src/oj/submission/detail.vue
+++ b/apps/web/src/oj/submission/detail.vue
@@ -1,8 +1,41 @@
 <script setup lang="ts">
+import { getSubmission } from 'oj/api'
+import { useMascotGuide } from 'shared/mascot/guide'
+import { useUserStore } from 'shared/store/user'
+import type { Submission } from 'utils/types'
 import SubmissionView from './components/SubmissionView.vue'
 
 /** 单独打开的一条提交，主体在 SubmissionView（课堂任务「讲错误」的弹层也用它） */
-defineProps<{ submissionID: string }>()
+const props = defineProps<{ submissionID: string }>()
+
+const router = useRouter()
+const userStore = useUserStore()
+
+/**
+ * 看板娘：学生看自己的提交时带回这道题。SubmissionView 里的数据拿不出来（弹层也用它，不挂看板娘），
+ * 这里另取一份不带「这道题交的几次」的，只给学生取
+ */
+const mine = ref<Submission | null>(null)
+watch(
+  () => [props.submissionID, userStore.isAuthed && !userStore.isTeacherOrAbove] as const,
+  async ([id, student]) => {
+    mine.value = null
+    if (!student) return
+    const res = await getSubmission(id).catch(() => null)
+    if (res && id === props.submissionID && res.userId === userStore.user?.id) mine.value = res
+  },
+  { immediate: true },
+)
+
+useMascotGuide(() => {
+  const s = mine.value
+  if (!s || userStore.isTeacherOrAbove) return null
+  // 和页面上题目那个链接同一个去处：比赛里交的回比赛里的题
+  const to = s.contestId
+    ? { name: 'contest problem', params: { contestID: String(s.contestId), problemID: s.problemDisplayId } }
+    : '/problem/' + s.problemDisplayId
+  return { situation: 'submission.detail', actions: [{ label: '回到这道题', run: () => router.push(to) }] }
+})
 </script>
 
 <template>
diff --git a/apps/web/src/oj/submission/list.vue b/apps/web/src/oj/submission/list.vue
index 62ccd05..29b0ebe 100644
--- a/apps/web/src/oj/submission/list.vue
+++ b/apps/web/src/oj/submission/list.vue
@@ -11,6 +11,7 @@ import { useBreakpoints } from 'shared/composables/breakpoints'
 import { usePagination } from 'shared/composables/pagination'
 import { useConfigStore } from 'shared/store/config'
 import { useUserStore } from 'shared/store/user'
+import { useMascotGuide } from 'shared/mascot/guide'
 import { LANGUAGE_SHOW_VALUE, SubmissionStatus } from 'utils/constants'
 import { parseTime } from 'utils/functions'
 import type { FlowchartSubmissionListItem, LANGUAGE, SubmissionListItem } from 'utils/types'
@@ -427,6 +428,18 @@ const { lesson, lessonActive, lessonLoading, toggleLesson } = useLessonFilter({
   info: (text) => message.info(text),
 })
 
+// 看板娘：学生带去看自己的；「这节课」只有老师那一版有，老师给它
+useMascotGuide(() => {
+  if (inContest.value) return null
+  if (!teacher.value) return { situation: 'submissions', actions: mine.value ? [] : [{ label: '只看我的', run: () => (scope.value = 'mine') }] }
+  const toLesson = () => {
+    // 「我的」时这节课的按钮是藏着的，先切回全部
+    if (mine.value) scope.value = 'all'
+    toggleLesson()
+  }
+  return { situation: 'teacher.submissions', actions: lessonActive.value ? [] : [{ label: '这节课', run: toLesson }] }
+})
+
 const activeFilters = computed(
   () =>
     [query.username, query.className, query.result, query.problem].filter(Boolean).length +
diff --git a/apps/web/src/oj/task/components/LessonForm.vue b/apps/web/src/oj/task/components/LessonForm.vue
index c380ead..6f85ba5 100644
--- a/apps/web/src/oj/task/components/LessonForm.vue
+++ b/apps/web/src/oj/task/components/LessonForm.vue
@@ -92,6 +92,9 @@ function openPicker() {
   pickerInitial.value = inputIds().map((id) => ({ id, title: titles.get(id.toLowerCase()) }))
   picking.value = true
 }
+
+// 看板娘气泡里的「选题」：课堂任务页没布置时替老师打开选题弹框
+defineExpose({ openPicker })
 function pickerConfirm(ids: string[]) {
   lessonInput.value = ids.join(' ')
   saveLesson()
diff --git a/apps/web/src/oj/task/index.vue b/apps/web/src/oj/task/index.vue
index 90d34c2..e075a84 100644
--- a/apps/web/src/oj/task/index.vue
+++ b/apps/web/src/oj/task/index.vue
@@ -10,6 +10,7 @@ import { useLeaveStudents } from 'shared/composables/leaveStudents'
 import { useTeacherHelp } from 'shared/composables/teacherHelp'
 import { useCollabStore } from 'shared/store/collab'
 import { useConfigStore } from 'shared/store/config'
+import { useMascotGuide } from 'shared/mascot/guide'
 import { errorMessage } from 'utils/api'
 import { LANGUAGE_SHOW_VALUE } from 'utils/constants'
 import { parseTime } from 'utils/functions'
@@ -511,6 +512,29 @@ function submissionsHref(
   }).href
 }
 
+/**
+ * 看板娘：布置了就带去这节课的提交，筛法同提交列表「这节课」（班、这几道题、今天）。
+ * 语言和格子一致：画流程图的课看流程图，选了语言的只看它 —— 夹着 SQL 题的不筛语言，免得把 SQL 交的藏掉。
+ * 还没布置时填题号的框就是这页最大的东西，不给按钮
+ */
+const startForm = useTemplateRef<{ openPicker: () => void }>('startForm')
+useMascotGuide(() => {
+  const b = board.value
+  if (!b?.className) return null
+  if (needLesson.value)
+    return { situation: 'teacher.task.unassigned', actions: startForm.value ? [{ label: '选题', run: () => startForm.value?.openPicker() }] : [] }
+  const language = b.mode === 'flowchart' ? 'Flowchart' : b.problems.some((problem) => problem.isSql) ? null : b.language
+  const query = {
+    className: b.className,
+    problem: b.problems.map((problem) => problem.problemDisplayId).join(','),
+    today: '1',
+    ...(language ? { language } : {}),
+  }
+  // 新标签打开，和点格子一样：任务页一般开着不关
+  const open = () => window.open(router.resolve({ name: 'submissions', query }).href, '_blank')
+  return { situation: 'teacher.task.assigned', actions: [{ label: '这节课的提交', run: open }] }
+})
+
 function lastText(student: TaskBoardStudent) {
   if (student.lastSubmitAt) return parseTime(student.lastSubmitAt, 'HH:mm')
   if (oftenIdle(student)) {
@@ -578,7 +602,16 @@ function lastText(student: TaskBoardStudent) {
       <!-- 刚上课还没有题：填题号的框是这页最大的东西 -->
       <section v-if="needLesson" class="start">
         <div class="start-title">这节课做哪几道题？</div>
-        <LessonForm v-if="className" :board="board" :class-name="className" :lesson-id="null" variant="start" class="start-row" @saved="lessonSaved" />
+        <LessonForm
+          v-if="className"
+          ref="startForm"
+          :board="board"
+          :class-name="className"
+          :lesson-id="null"
+          variant="start"
+          class="start-row"
+          @saved="lessonSaved"
+        />
         <div v-if="staleLesson" class="earlier">
           <span>上一节 {{ board.assignedAt ? parseTime(board.assignedAt, 'HH:mm') : '' }} {{ board.assignedBy }} 布置</span>
           <span v-for="problem in board.problems" :key="problem.problemId" class="chip">{{ problem.problemDisplayId }}</span>
diff --git a/apps/web/src/oj/user/index.vue b/apps/web/src/oj/user/index.vue
index 7210a10..4b2cb66 100644
--- a/apps/web/src/oj/user/index.vue
+++ b/apps/web/src/oj/user/index.vue
@@ -4,6 +4,7 @@ import { getProfileOverview } from 'oj/api'
 import { getProfile } from 'shared/api'
 import { useBreakpoints } from 'shared/composables/breakpoints'
 import { useUserStore } from 'shared/store/user'
+import { goAction, useMascotGuide } from 'shared/mascot/guide'
 import type { Profile } from 'utils/types'
 import AchievementCard from './components/AchievementCard.vue'
 import KnowledgeMap from './components/KnowledgeMap.vue'
@@ -17,6 +18,7 @@ import VersusCard from './components/VersusCard.vue'
  * /profiles/:username/overview），这里只管摆。原来的「我的设置」并进了名片。
  */
 const route = useRoute()
+const router = useRouter()
 const userStore = useUserStore()
 const { isDesktop } = useBreakpoints()
 
@@ -47,6 +49,12 @@ async function load() {
 }
 
 watch(username, load, { immediate: true })
+
+// 看板娘：只在看自己的主页时说话
+useMascotGuide(() => {
+  if (!isSelf.value || !profile.value || userStore.isTeacherOrAbove) return null
+  return { situation: 'profile', actions: [goAction(router, '我的成就', '/achievement'), goAction(router, '我的提交', '/submission?myself=1')] }
+})
 </script>
 
 <template>
diff --git a/apps/web/src/shared/components/Mascot.vue b/apps/web/src/shared/components/Mascot.vue
index e113635..d44c81d 100644
--- a/apps/web/src/shared/components/Mascot.vue
+++ b/apps/web/src/shared/components/Mascot.vue
@@ -1,6 +1,6 @@
 <script setup lang="ts">
 /**
- * 看板娘。只陪着，不干别的。现在只有一个形象（大肥鱼）。
+ * 看板娘，兼站内的引导员。现在只有一个形象（鲸鱼娘）。
  *
  * 形象取自 MeteorNOX/DeepSeek-Balance-Whale-Widget 的 assets/DSniang1.png（裁掉透明边、缩到 2 倍显示尺寸转 webp）。
  * 那个仓库的代码是 MIT，但 assets/ 下的图不在 MIT 里（见它的 PROVENANCE.md）。
@@ -8,14 +8,22 @@
  * - 常驻在前台页面的角落，能拖；松手按「四分之一区」贴边：中心落在左/右四分之一就贴左/右缘，
  *   上/下四分之一就贴上/下缘，中间保持松手的位置。两个方向各判各的，所以能贴进角落。
  * - 在屏幕左半边时整体镜像，脸总朝着页面中间。
- * - 按下去像玩偶一样压扁（底边不动），松手弹回；点一下蹦一下。
+ * - 按下去像玩偶一样压扁（底边不动），松手弹回。
+ * - 点一下冒气泡：一句话加最多三个按钮，按页面、按情况变（页面经 shared/mascot/guide.ts 告诉她），
+ *   台词在 shared/mascot/lines.ts。她从不主动开口；比赛里点她不弹气泡。再点一下、点别处、换页面都收起。
  * - 彩蛋：连着快点，有时候（每轮三分之一的机会）点到第 4～8 下（也是随机的）会被摸摸头（同一个仓库的 assets/rua.gif），摸的时候接着点就一直摸。
  *
  * 位置只是这台电脑上的个人偏好，存 localStorage（读写都包 try/catch，拿不到就用默认位置）。
  * 定位一律用 transform 的像素值：贴右缘时若换成 right:0，过渡没法在 auto 和数值之间插值，会瞬移。
  */
+import { TIME_ZONE_OFFSET_MINUTES } from '@oj2/contract'
 import imageUrl from 'shared/assets/mascot/whale.webp'
 import patUrl from 'shared/assets/mascot/whale-pat.gif'
+import { MASCOT_LINES, type MascotSituation } from 'shared/mascot/lines'
+import { currentMascotGuide, type MascotAction, type MascotGuide } from 'shared/mascot/guide'
+import { useAuthModalStore } from 'shared/store/authModal'
+import { useCollabStore } from 'shared/store/collab'
+import { useUserStore } from 'shared/store/user'
 
 const WIDTH = 132
 const HEIGHT = 140 // 图是 264×280
@@ -36,6 +44,8 @@ function rollPatClicks() {
   return PAT_CLICKS_MIN + Math.floor(Math.random() * (PAT_CLICKS_MAX - PAT_CLICKS_MIN + 1))
 }
 const STREAK_GAP_MS = 600 // 两下之间超过这么久就不算连点
+const OVERCLICK = 8 // 一轮连点到这么多下还没摸到头，她就嫌烦了
+const QUIET_BUBBLE_MS = 5000 // 没有按钮的气泡（只是一句话）过这么久自己收起
 
 type HAnchor = 'left' | 'right' | null
 type VAnchor = 'top' | 'bottom' | null
@@ -71,10 +81,11 @@ const place = loadPlace()
 const pos = reactive({ x: 0, y: 0 })
 const dragging = ref(false)
 const pressed = ref(false)
-const hop = ref(false)
 const patting = ref(false)
 const flipped = ref(false)
-const root = ref<HTMLElement>()
+const body = ref<HTMLElement>()
+const squashEl = ref<HTMLElement>()
+const bubbleEl = ref<HTMLElement>()
 
 function clamp(v: number, lo: number, hi: number) {
   return Math.min(Math.max(v, lo), Math.max(lo, hi))
@@ -90,6 +101,10 @@ function settle() {
   flipped.value = pos.x + WIDTH / 2 < vw / 2
 }
 
+// 第一帧之前就算好位置。挪到 onMounted 里算的话，第一帧画在 (0,0)，
+// 接着位置一变就触发过渡，看上去是从左上角飞过去的
+settle()
+
 let start: { px: number; py: number; x: number; y: number } | null = null
 let moved = false
 
@@ -98,7 +113,7 @@ function onDown(e: PointerEvent) {
   // 不拦的话，第一下甩得快时浏览器会拿光标新位置底下的东西（比如题目列表的链接）开始原生拖拽，
   // 随即发 pointercancel，看板娘就卡在半路
   e.preventDefault()
-  root.value?.setPointerCapture(e.pointerId)
+  body.value?.setPointerCapture(e.pointerId)
   start = { px: e.clientX, py: e.clientY, x: pos.x, y: pos.y }
   moved = false
   pressed.value = true
@@ -117,6 +132,19 @@ function onMove(e: PointerEvent) {
   flipped.value = pos.x + WIDTH / 2 < document.documentElement.clientWidth / 2
 }
 
+/**
+ * 每点一下都压扁再弹回来一次。按住时的压扁靠 .pressed 的过渡，可快速点一下从按下到松开只有几十毫秒，
+ * 过渡还没走到位就松了，连点时看上去像卡住。用 Web Animations 播一遍完整的，每下都从头播
+ */
+const reducedMotion = usePreferredReducedMotion()
+function boing() {
+  if (reducedMotion.value === 'reduce') return
+  squashEl.value?.animate([{ transform: 'scale(1.06, 0.86)' }, { transform: 'scale(0.97, 1.04)', offset: 0.55 }, { transform: 'scale(1, 1)' }], {
+    duration: 280,
+    easing: 'ease-out',
+  })
+}
+
 // 动图 94KB，不在每个页面一打开就下：连点到第 2 下才预载，最少也还要再点两下才用得上
 let patPreloaded = false
 function preloadPat() {
@@ -126,7 +154,6 @@ function preloadPat() {
 }
 
 let patTimer: ReturnType<typeof setTimeout> | undefined
-let hopTimer: ReturnType<typeof setTimeout> | undefined
 let streak = 0
 let patClicks = rollPatClicks()
 let lastClick = 0
@@ -148,6 +175,7 @@ function onUp() {
     savePlace(place)
     return
   }
+  boing()
   const now = performance.now()
   if (now - lastClick <= STREAK_GAP_MS) streak++
   else {
@@ -159,7 +187,7 @@ function onUp() {
 
   // 正在被摸，或者连点到数了：摸摸头，从这一下再摸满一轮
   if (patting.value || streak >= patClicks) {
-    hop.value = false
+    if (!patting.value) say({ text: pick('patting') })
     patting.value = true
     clearTimeout(patTimer)
     patTimer = setTimeout(() => {
@@ -168,48 +196,173 @@ function onUp() {
     }, PAT_MS)
     return
   }
-
-  // 平时：蹦一下。连点就从头再蹦
-  hop.value = false
-  clearTimeout(hopTimer)
-  requestAnimationFrame(() => {
-    hop.value = true
-    hopTimer = setTimeout(() => (hop.value = false), 500)
-  })
+  // 一轮里只有第一下开关气泡，后面连着点是在找彩蛋，不跟着一开一关
+  if (streak === 1) toggleBubble()
+  else if (streak === OVERCLICK) say({ text: pick('overclick') })
 }
 
+// ---- 气泡 ----
+
+const route = useRoute()
+const userStore = useUserStore()
+const collabStore = useCollabStore()
+const authModal = useAuthModalStore()
+
+interface Bubble {
+  text: string
+  actions?: MascotAction[]
+}
+const bubble = ref<Bubble | null>(null)
+let quietTimer: ReturnType<typeof setTimeout> | undefined
+
+/** 比赛、测验里不说话：「运行例子」「举手」这类按钮在考试时算不算帮忙，干脆不弹 */
+const silent = computed(() => String(route.name ?? '').startsWith('contest '))
+
+function say(next: Bubble) {
+  if (silent.value) return
+  bubble.value = next
+  clearTimeout(quietTimer)
+  if (!next.actions?.length) quietTimer = setTimeout(close, QUIET_BUBBLE_MS)
+}
+
+function close() {
+  bubble.value = null
+  clearTimeout(quietTimer)
+}
+
+function toggleBubble() {
+  if (bubble.value) return close()
+  const guide = resolveGuide()
+  say({ text: pickFor(guide), actions: guide.actions?.slice(0, 3) })
+}
+
+/** 先看全站的：没登录、老师这边有人举手；再问页面；都没有就打个招呼 */
+function resolveGuide(): MascotGuide {
+  if (!userStore.isAuthed) return { situation: 'guest', actions: [{ label: '登录', run: authModal.openLoginModal }] }
+  const teacher = userStore.isTeacherOrAbove
+  if (teacher && collabStore.isTeacher && collabStore.pendingCount > 0) {
+    return { situation: 'teacher.help', n: collabStore.pendingCount, actions: [{ label: '去看看', run: () => (collabStore.helpPanelOpen = true) }] }
+  }
+  return currentMascotGuide() ?? { situation: teacher ? 'teacher.greet' : 'greet' }
+}
+
+/** 这几种情况要紧，不拿彩蛋换掉 */
+const SERIOUS = new Set<MascotSituation>(['guest', 'teacher.help', 'problem.stuck'])
+const RARE_CHANCE = 0.03
+const TIME_CHANCE = 0.15
+
+function pickFor(guide: MascotGuide) {
+  let situation = guide.situation
+  if (!SERIOUS.has(situation) && guide.n === undefined) {
+    const timely = timeSituation()
+    if (Math.random() < RARE_CHANCE) situation = 'rare'
+    else if (timely && !userStore.isTeacherOrAbove && Math.random() < TIME_CHANCE) situation = timely
+  }
+  return pick(situation).replace('{n}', String(guide.n ?? ''))
+}
+
+/** 同一组里不连着抽到同一句 */
+let lastLine = ''
+function pick(situation: MascotSituation) {
+  const pool: readonly string[] = MASCOT_LINES[situation]
+  const choices = pool.length > 1 ? pool.filter((line) => line !== lastLine) : pool
+  lastLine = choices[Math.floor(Math.random() * choices.length)]!
+  return lastLine
+}
+
+/**
+ * 按东八区的钟点挑时间彩蛋。节次是估的（第一节 8:00、午饭 11:20、下午第一节 13:30、
+ * 最后一节 15:50 前后），对不上学校作息就改这里
+ */
+function timeSituation(): MascotSituation | null {
+  const wall = new Date(Date.now() + TIME_ZONE_OFFSET_MINUTES * 60_000)
+  const day = wall.getUTCDay()
+  const minutes = wall.getUTCHours() * 60 + wall.getUTCMinutes()
+  const within = (from: string, to: string) => {
+    const [fh, fm] = from.split(':').map(Number)
+    const [th, tm] = to.split(':').map(Number)
+    return minutes >= fh! * 60 + fm! && minutes < th! * 60 + tm!
+  }
+  if (day === 0 || day === 6 || !within('07:00', '18:00')) return 'offHours'
+  if (within('08:00', '08:50')) return 'time.firstClass'
+  if (within('11:20', '12:10')) return 'time.lunch'
+  if (within('13:30', '14:20')) return 'time.afternoon'
+  if (within('15:50', '16:40')) return 'time.lastClass'
+  if (day === 1) return 'day.monday'
+  if (day === 5) return 'day.friday'
+  return null
+}
+
+async function runAction(action: MascotAction) {
+  close()
+  await action.run()
+}
+
+// 点别处收起；点她自己由 onUp 管（开关），不算「别处」
+onClickOutside(bubbleEl, close, { ignore: [body] })
+watch(() => route.fullPath, close)
+watch(silent, (quiet) => quiet && close())
+
+/** 她靠上时气泡往下冒，免得顶出屏幕；在左半边时气泡贴左对齐 */
+const bubbleBelow = computed(() => pos.y < 220)
+
 onMounted(() => {
-  settle()
   window.addEventListener('resize', settle, { passive: true })
 })
 onBeforeUnmount(() => {
   window.removeEventListener('resize', settle)
   clearTimeout(patTimer)
-  clearTimeout(hopTimer)
+  clearTimeout(quietTimer)
 })
 </script>
 
 <template>
-  <div
-    ref="root"
-    class="mascot"
-    :class="{ dragging, pressed, hop, patting, flipped }"
-    :style="{ width: `${WIDTH}px`, height: `${HEIGHT}px`, transform: `translate3d(${pos.x}px, ${pos.y}px, 0)` }"
-    aria-hidden="true"
-    @pointerdown="onDown"
-    @pointermove="onMove"
-    @pointerup="onUp"
-    @pointercancel="onUp"
-    @dragstart.prevent
-  >
-    <div class="flip">
-      <div class="squash">
-        <div class="breathe">
-          <img v-if="patting" class="pat" :src="patUrl" :width="PAT_SIZE" :height="PAT_SIZE" :style="{ bottom: `${PAT_BOTTOM}px` }" alt="" draggable="false" />
-          <img v-else :src="imageUrl" :width="WIDTH" :height="HEIGHT" alt="" draggable="false" />
+  <div class="mascot" :class="{ dragging }" :style="{ width: `${WIDTH}px`, height: `${HEIGHT}px`, transform: `translate3d(${pos.x}px, ${pos.y}px, 0)` }">
+    <div
+      ref="body"
+      class="body"
+      :class="{ pressed, patting, flipped }"
+      aria-hidden="true"
+      @pointerdown="onDown"
+      @pointermove="onMove"
+      @pointerup="onUp"
+      @pointercancel="onUp"
+      @dragstart.prevent
+    >
+      <div class="flip">
+        <div ref="squashEl" class="squash">
+          <div class="breathe">
+            <img
+              v-if="patting"
+              class="pat"
+              :src="patUrl"
+              :width="PAT_SIZE"
+              :height="PAT_SIZE"
+              :style="{ bottom: `${PAT_BOTTOM}px` }"
+              alt=""
+              draggable="false"
+            />
+            <img v-else :src="imageUrl" :width="WIDTH" :height="HEIGHT" alt="" draggable="false" />
+          </div>
         </div>
       </div>
     </div>
+    <Transition name="bubble">
+      <div v-if="bubble && !dragging" ref="bubbleEl" class="bubble" :class="{ below: bubbleBelow, left: flipped }" role="status">
+        <p class="line">{{ bubble.text }}</p>
+        <div v-if="bubble.actions?.length" class="actions">
+          <n-button
+            v-for="(action, index) in bubble.actions"
+            :key="action.label"
+            size="small"
+            :type="index === 0 ? 'primary' : 'default'"
+            @click="runAction(action)"
+          >
+            {{ action.label }}
+          </n-button>
+        </div>
+      </div>
+    </Transition>
   </div>
 </template>
 
@@ -219,17 +372,99 @@ onBeforeUnmount(() => {
   left: 0;
   top: 0;
   z-index: 900; /* 压在页面上，但让弹框、消息、烟花盖住它 */
-  cursor: grab;
-  touch-action: none;
-  user-select: none;
-  -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent;
   transition: transform 0.35s cubic-bezier(0.34, 1.4, 0.64, 1);
   will-change: transform;
 }
 .mascot.dragging {
-  cursor: grabbing;
   transition: none;
 }
+.body {
+  width: 100%;
+  height: 100%;
+  cursor: grab;
+  touch-action: none;
+  user-select: none;
+  -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent;
+}
+.dragging .body {
+  cursor: grabbing;
+}
+
+/* 气泡：白底深蓝描边（取她身上线条的颜色），尾巴指着她的头。设计稿「看板娘引导」 */
+.bubble {
+  --bubble-line: #2b3a6b;
+  --bubble-bg: #fff;
+  position: absolute;
+  right: 14px;
+  bottom: calc(100% + 12px);
+  width: max-content;
+  min-width: 120px;
+  max-width: 280px;
+  box-sizing: border-box;
+  padding: 12px 14px;
+  background: var(--bubble-bg);
+  border: 2px solid var(--bubble-line);
+  border-radius: 16px;
+  box-shadow: 0 8px 24px rgba(20, 30, 60, 0.16);
+  display: flex;
+  flex-direction: column;
+  gap: 10px;
+}
+:global(html.dark) .bubble {
+  --bubble-line: #7f94d4;
+  --bubble-bg: #1f2230;
+  box-shadow: 0 8px 24px rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.45);
+}
+.bubble::after {
+  content: '';
+  position: absolute;
+  right: 40px;
+  bottom: -9px;
+  width: 14px;
+  height: 14px;
+  background: var(--bubble-bg);
+  border-right: 2px solid var(--bubble-line);
+  border-bottom: 2px solid var(--bubble-line);
+  transform: rotate(45deg);
+}
+.bubble.left {
+  right: auto;
+  left: 14px;
+}
+.bubble.left::after {
+  right: auto;
+  left: 40px;
+}
+.bubble.below {
+  bottom: auto;
+  top: calc(100% + 12px);
+}
+.bubble.below::after {
+  bottom: auto;
+  top: -9px;
+  transform: rotate(-135deg);
+}
+.line {
+  margin: 0;
+  font-size: 15px;
+  line-height: 1.5;
+}
+.actions {
+  display: flex;
+  flex-wrap: wrap;
+  gap: 8px;
+}
+.bubble-enter-active,
+.bubble-leave-active {
+  transition:
+    opacity 0.15s ease,
+    transform 0.15s ease;
+}
+.bubble-enter-from,
+.bubble-leave-to {
+  opacity: 0;
+  transform: translateY(6px) scale(0.96);
+}
 
 .flip,
 .squash,
@@ -254,9 +489,6 @@ onBeforeUnmount(() => {
   transform: scale(1.05, 0.88);
   transition-duration: 0.1s;
 }
-.hop .squash {
-  animation: mascot-hop 0.5s cubic-bezier(0.34, 1.56, 0.64, 1);
-}
 
 /* 平时轻轻地一起一伏 */
 .breathe {
@@ -291,18 +523,6 @@ img.pat {
   }
 }
 
-@keyframes mascot-hop {
-  0% {
-    transform: translateY(0) scale(1.05, 0.88);
-  }
-  45% {
-    transform: translateY(-16px) scale(0.97, 1.05);
-  }
-  100% {
-    transform: translateY(0) scale(1, 1);
-  }
-}
-
 @media (prefers-reduced-motion: reduce) {
   .breathe {
     animation: none;
diff --git a/apps/web/src/shared/components/NotFound.vue b/apps/web/src/shared/components/NotFound.vue
index bf110c7..47a0063 100644
--- a/apps/web/src/shared/components/NotFound.vue
+++ b/apps/web/src/shared/components/NotFound.vue
@@ -2,6 +2,7 @@
 import { Icon } from '@iconify/vue'
 import { useThemeVars } from 'naive-ui'
 import type { RouteLocationRaw } from 'vue-router'
+import { useMascotGuide } from 'shared/mascot/guide'
 
 /**
  * 「找不到」的整页提示：地址打错、题目 / 比赛 / 专题不存在或没公开、比赛还没开始。
@@ -21,6 +22,9 @@ const props = withDefaults(
 
 const theme = useThemeVars()
 const router = useRouter()
+
+// 看板娘：和页面上那个按钮去同一个地方（回首页 / 回到专题 / 回到比赛）
+useMascotGuide(() => ({ situation: 'notFound', actions: [{ label: props.toLabel, run: () => router.push(props.to) }] }))
 </script>
 
 <template>
diff --git a/apps/web/src/shared/components/ProblemJumpBox.vue b/apps/web/src/shared/components/ProblemJumpBox.vue
index d64db06..ea780df 100644
--- a/apps/web/src/shared/components/ProblemJumpBox.vue
+++ b/apps/web/src/shared/components/ProblemJumpBox.vue
@@ -6,6 +6,7 @@ import { useProblemJump } from 'shared/composables/problemJump'
 import { useUserStore } from 'shared/store/user'
 import type { ClassActivityProblem } from 'utils/types'
 import { zonedParts } from 'utils/functions'
+import { jumpFocusRequest } from 'shared/mascot/guide'
 
 /**
  * 顶栏的题号框：老师报完题号，学生在哪一页都能直接敲，不用先回首页或题目列表。
@@ -29,7 +30,9 @@ const lessonStore = useLessonStore()
 const { jump, jumping } = useProblemJump()
 const keyword = ref('')
 const focused = ref(false)
-const input = useTemplateRef<{ blur: () => void }>('input')
+const input = useTemplateRef<{ blur: () => void; focus: () => void }>('input')
+// 看板娘气泡里的「输题号」：把光标放进来
+watch(jumpFocusRequest, () => input.value?.focus())
 
 /** 题目页的三种入口（题库 / 比赛 / 专题）顶上都有自己的上下文条 */
 const PROBLEM_PAGES = new Set(['problem', 'contest problem', 'problemset problem'])
diff --git a/apps/web/src/shared/mascot/guide.ts b/apps/web/src/shared/mascot/guide.ts
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..9e1eaff
--- /dev/null
+++ b/apps/web/src/shared/mascot/guide.ts
@@ -0,0 +1,72 @@
+import type { Router } from 'vue-router'
+import type { MascotSituation } from './lines'
+
+/**
+ * 看板娘的「引导」：页面告诉她现在是什么情况、气泡里的按钮各做什么。
+ *
+ * 每个页面在 setup 里调一次 useMascotGuide，给一个函数；看板娘被点的那一刻才调用它，
+ * 所以函数里直接读页面当下的状态就行，不用做成 computed。函数返回 null 就当这页没有专门的话，
+ * 看板娘只打招呼。比赛里看板娘不弹气泡，那一层在 Mascot.vue 里按路由判断，页面不用管。
+ *
+ * 以后要按学生的行为调整她说什么（常错哪一类、习惯先跑例子还是直接交），也是往这一层加信号。
+ */
+export interface MascotAction {
+  label: string
+  run: () => unknown
+}
+
+export interface MascotGuide {
+  situation: MascotSituation
+  /** 台词里 `{n}` 换成它：还差几道、第几课、几个人举手 */
+  n?: number
+  /** 最多三个，第一个是主按钮 */
+  actions?: MascotAction[]
+}
+
+type GuideProvider = () => MascotGuide | null
+
+/** 后挂上的排在后面；一页只挂一个，嵌套的子组件别再挂 */
+const providers = shallowRef<GuideProvider[]>([])
+
+export function useMascotGuide(provider: GuideProvider) {
+  onMounted(() => {
+    providers.value = [...providers.value, provider]
+  })
+  onBeforeUnmount(() => {
+    providers.value = providers.value.filter((it) => it !== provider)
+  })
+}
+
+export function currentMascotGuide(): MascotGuide | null {
+  const list = providers.value
+  for (let i = list.length - 1; i >= 0; i--) {
+    const guide = list[i]!()
+    if (guide) return guide
+  }
+  return null
+}
+
+// ---- 几个页面都用得上的按钮 ----
+
+/** 顶栏「输入题号直达」框：看板娘点一下就把光标放进去。ProblemJumpBox 盯着这个数 */
+export const jumpFocusRequest = ref(0)
+
+export function focusJumpAction(): MascotAction {
+  return { label: '输题号', run: () => jumpFocusRequest.value++ }
+}
+
+/** 和题目列表的「随便来一道」同一个接口：不限知识点和类型，按学生惯用的语言挑 */
+export function randomProblemAction(router: Router): MascotAction {
+  return {
+    label: '随便来一道',
+    run: async () => {
+      const [{ getRandomProblem }, { useCodeStore }] = await Promise.all([import('oj/api'), import('oj/store/code')])
+      const id = await getRandomProblem({ tag: '', type: '', language: useCodeStore().preferredLanguage() })
+      router.push('/problem/' + id)
+    },
+  }
+}
+
+export function goAction(router: Router, label: string, to: string): MascotAction {
+  return { label, run: () => router.push(to) }
+}
diff --git a/apps/web/src/shared/mascot/lines.ts b/apps/web/src/shared/mascot/lines.ts
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..096c5d6
--- /dev/null
+++ b/apps/web/src/shared/mascot/lines.ts
@@ -0,0 +1,164 @@
+/**
+ * 看板娘的台词。点她一下，按「现在是什么情况」从对应那一组里随机抽一句。
+ *
+ * 口吻照「DeepSeek 小鲸鱼」角色卡：短、像群友、傲娇嘴硬、心软藏着。学校里舍掉了英文、
+ * 粗口和「V我50」；角色卡里叫人「用户」的梗改成「同学」。不自称「本小姐」，也不自称「大肥鱼」。
+ * 设计稿（含整张台词表）：https://claude.ai/artifact/Qz2zPCfq2zCrqmxyms1UGx
+ *
+ * `{n}` 由页面给的数字替换（还差几道、第几课、几个人举手）。
+ * 文案守全站的规矩：全中文、不用「他」、对学生不说「追」。
+ */
+export const MASCOT_LINES = {
+  // ---- 学生：首页 ----
+  'home.assigned': [
+    '今天的题还没做完',
+    '题在这，自己去',
+    '还发呆？',
+    '老师布置的，不是我',
+    '做完再玩',
+    '就几道，别磨蹭',
+    '老师报题号了吧',
+    '还剩几道，自己数',
+    '先做今天的',
+    '别人都交了',
+    '题不会自己跑过来',
+    '我替你记着呢……才怪',
+  ],
+  'home.done': ['做完了？哼，还挺快', '今天的题清空了', '行，算你今天没白来', '多做一道又不会掉肉', '做完了就去自学', '今天表现还行', '剩下的时间别浪费'],
+  'home.free': ['闲着？来一道', '没作业也别想摸鱼', '随便挑一道呗', '无聊就做题', '来都来了', '老师没布置，你也能做', '今天做一道，明天轻松点', '手痒了吧'],
+
+  // ---- 学生：题目列表 ----
+  problems: [
+    '找哪道',
+    '题号报来',
+    '翻半天了吧',
+    '不知道做哪道？随便来一道',
+    '题号都记不住？',
+    '简单的先做',
+    '没做完的先挑',
+    '看名字挑题？行吧',
+    '这么多，慢慢找',
+  ],
+
+  // ---- 学生：题目页 ----
+  'problem.blank': ['看完题再写', '题目读两遍', '输入输出先看清', '例子先看懂', '先别急着敲', '空的？', '写啊，我又不会帮你写'],
+  'problem.inSet': ['专题里的题，做完拿奖章', '这个专题还差几道', '做完回专题看看'],
+  'problem.unsubmitted': [
+    '直接交？胆子不小',
+    '先跑例子',
+    '交之前对一下例子',
+    '例子都没跑就交？',
+    '我看着呢',
+    '写完了？先跑一下',
+    '跑一下又不要钱',
+    '自信是好事，先跑例子',
+  ],
+  'problem.samplesFailed': ['例子都没过，还想交？', '差一点点', '对着例子看看', '一个字都不能差', '别急着交', '空格也算', '多了一行？', '输出和例子摆一起看'],
+  'problem.samplesPassed': ['例子过了，交吧', '还行，交', '交了才算数', '例子过了不代表全对'],
+  'problem.wrong': [
+    '错了就改呗',
+    '慌什么，看看错哪了',
+    '错一次而已',
+    '我就知道',
+    '改改就好了，又不难',
+    '再来',
+    '输出再对一遍',
+    '是不是格式的事',
+    '特殊情况想过没',
+    '离对就差一点',
+  ],
+  'problem.compileError': ['连编译都没过？', '红字看看', '少了个符号吧', '中文标点？', '括号配对了没', '拼错了吧'],
+  'problem.runtimeError': ['跑一半崩了', '程序炸了', '看看哪一行', '输入读对了没', '除以零了？'],
+  'problem.timeout': ['跑太久了', '死循环？', '循环停得下来吗', '是不是多读了输入', '慢死了'],
+  'problem.stuck': [
+    '行吧，这次不怼你。问问老师？',
+    '别硬撑了，举个手',
+    '歇一下，再看一遍题',
+    '不丢人，老师就是干这个的',
+    '……我在呢',
+    '举手又没人笑你',
+    '换个思路试试',
+    '从头读一遍题',
+  ],
+  'problem.accepted': [
+    '哼，算你厉害',
+    '还行吧，别得意',
+    '下一道',
+    '才不是夸你',
+    '这么快？……有点东西',
+    '行，记你一功',
+    '对了就对了，笑什么',
+    '一般般啦',
+    '还算有点用',
+    '别骄傲，下一道',
+  ],
+  'problem.firstTry': ['一次就过？运气吧', '……好吧，厉害', '没跑例子也对了？算你狠', '这题对你太简单了吧'],
+  'problem.finally': ['终于', '我就说改改就行', '磨了半天，总算', '看吧，不难', '这次算你没放弃'],
+  'problem.solvedBefore': ['做过了还来？', '复习呢？行吧', '旧题有什么好看的', '会了就下一道', '再做一遍也行，别抄自己的'],
+  'problem.flowchart': ['先画图', '框和箭头别乱连', '画完让我看看……才不看', '判断框要两个出口'],
+
+  // ---- 学生：其他页面 ----
+  'submission.detail': ['盯着看也不会变对', '回去改改', '看出问题没', '看完了就回去', '又在研究？', '红的那一格看看'],
+  'problemsets.unfinished': ['上次那个还没做完', '挑一个', '别光看不做', '奖章还空着呢', '先把开了头的做完'],
+  'problemset.unfinished': ['还差 {n} 道', '就差 {n} 道了', '做一半跑了？', '奖章不会自己来', '接着做', '都到这儿了'],
+  'problemset.done': ['全做完了？哼，奖章拿着', '还挺能坚持', '下一个专题呢', '这个奖章……还挺好看'],
+  'learn.continue': ['第 {n} 课，没忘吧', '上次学到一半', '学一课又不会怎样', '今天学一课？', '接着上次的', '学完这课再玩'],
+  'learn.fresh': ['从第一课开始', '不会就从头学', '光做题不学？', '第一课很短的'],
+  tutorial: ['看完了？练一练', '光看不练没用', '练一练才算学会', '代码能直接跑，试试', '下一课等着呢', '别跳着看', '这段改一改再跑'],
+  'tutorial.passed': ['这课过了', '还挺快', '下一课'],
+  submissions: ['先看自己的', '看别人的干嘛', '找自己的？', '这么多，找得到吗', '这节课的在这', '红的多还是绿的多'],
+  rank: ['想知道第几？带你去', '别光看前面的', '排名又不会自己涨', '做对一道新题就能动', '看别人干嘛，做题去', '前一名也没多几道'],
+  pk: ['你们班行不行', '比输了别找我', '多做一道，班里就多一道'],
+  'contests.live': ['比赛开着呢', '还不进去？', '去吧，我不看'],
+  'contests.none': ['今天没比赛', '想比赛？找老师'],
+  announcement: ['看公告？难得', '有新东西', '看完就做题去'],
+  profile: ['欣赏自己呢？', '自恋', '做对的题都在这', '还行吧，这战绩', '签名该改了'],
+  achievement: ['又来数成就？', '还差几个', '下一个快了', '拿了就别显摆', '这么多？……一般吧'],
+  notFound: ['迷路了？跟我回去', '这里什么都没有', '地址打错了吧', '走错门了', '没这个地方'],
+  guest: ['先登录，不然不理你', '你谁啊', '登录再说', '不认识你', '报上名来', '点名字就能登录'],
+
+  // ---- 老师 ----
+  'teacher.help': ['{n} 个学生举手了，快去', '有人举手，别装没看见', '等着呢，快去', '{n} 个了，再不去要急了', '举着手呢，手酸了', '老师，有人找'],
+  'teacher.home.unassigned': ['今天不布置？学生要摸鱼了', '空着呢', '题呢？', '布置点什么吧', '不布置我可去吃饭了', '学生都在等'],
+  'teacher.home.assigned': ['这节课的提交，筛好了', '看看谁在摸鱼', '交上来不少了', '去看看', '有人卡住了吧'],
+  'teacher.task.unassigned': ['空的。题自己选', '选几道吧', '五道以内，别太狠', '还没布置呢', '挑简单的先热身？'],
+  'teacher.task.assigned': ['进度都在这', '谁在摸鱼，一目了然', '差不多该讲题了吧', '卡在同一道的有点多', '做完的可以加一道'],
+  'teacher.statistics': ['看完记得夸夸学生', '数字好看吗', '别只看平均数', '有进步的，夸一句', '这节课还行吧'],
+  'teacher.submissions': ['筛这节课的？', '想看谁的', '错的多的先看', '一条条看，辛苦了', '重判之前想清楚'],
+  'teacher.problem': ['全班做得怎样，不看看？', '难不难，数据说了算', '又在看题？', '要改题？', '这题错的人不少'],
+  'teacher.problems': ['又出新题？才没关心你', '出题辛苦了……随口说的', '题够多了吧', '新题记得放例子', '标签别忘了打'],
+  'teacher.problemset': ['全班进度，记着呢', '谁没做完，一看就知道', '奖章发得出去吗'],
+  'teacher.greet': ['老师好……才不是特意打招呼', '有事？', '忙完了？', '喝口水吧', '下课了吗', '今天几节课？', '辛苦……随口说的'],
+
+  // ---- 招呼与彩蛋 ----
+  greet: [
+    '干嘛',
+    '？',
+    '戳我干嘛',
+    '在呢',
+    '又来',
+    '有事说事',
+    '忙着呢',
+    '嗯？',
+    '别戳了',
+    '看什么看',
+    '好饿',
+    '叫我干嘛',
+    '我在摸鱼，别吵',
+    '你也在摸鱼？',
+    '不理你',
+    '哼',
+  ],
+  patting: ['头发乱了', '再摸收费', '别摸了', '……就一下', '手拿开', '摸够了没', '……还行'],
+  overclick: ['同学，你够了', '再点我要生气了', '手不酸吗', '点我又不加分', '有这功夫做道题', '鼠标要坏了'],
+  rare: ['服务器繁忙', '让我想想……算了', '这个我不会，骗你的', '刚才说到哪了', '我去吃饭了，你做完告诉我'],
+  'time.firstClass': ['醒了没', '早，题呢', '眼睛睁开', '早饭吃了没'],
+  'time.lunch': ['事已至此，先吃饭吧', '好饿', '饭点了', '做完这道就去吃'],
+  'time.afternoon': ['困了吧', '午觉睡了没', '醒醒'],
+  'time.lastClass': ['快下课了，交了再走', '收拾书包前再交一次', '最后一道'],
+  'day.monday': ['周一了，打起精神', '上周的题做完没'],
+  'day.friday': ['周五了，再做一道', '明天放假，今天做完'],
+  offHours: ['这个点还在做题？', '放假还来，行吧', '……有点感动，一点点'],
+} as const satisfies Record<string, readonly string[]>
+
+export type MascotSituation = keyof typeof MASCOT_LINES